The IPL Tamasha

Posted: April 25, 2009 in Cricket

When the IPL started last year, I was instantly hooked. For 45 days, IPL was part of my daily routine. I also got myself a season ticket at MAC and even managed to catch 5 matches at the stadium. So when IPL2 commenced this year, I was eagerly looking forward to it. However the first week was a complete damp squib. It was probably due to the tournament being hosted by South Africa. Probably it was the rains or perhaps the fatigue factor. Whatever it was, I was no longer a fan.

So, I sat down and analyzed what had changed over the last year. I realized that nothing much has changed except that IPL has lost all its initial charm. Everything that worked for it last year is now a big pain in the ***. IPL’s unabashed commercial nature can easily get on the nerve of a true fan of the game. Despite its stated aim of being cricket’s version of the EPL / NBA, the game has taken a complete back seat this season. The organizers are trying to flog the hen that lays the golden egg.

So here is a list of things about the IPL that gets on my nerve…

1) Lalit Modi – Dude, get a life. Stop hobnobbing with film stars and business tycoons and start watching the matches at home or from your hotel room. We can’t stand the sight of you, let alone watch you a minimum of 10 times each day. The same goes to you too Mr. IS Bindra.

2) Celebrity team owners – SRK, Preity, Shipa, and the rest of the gang. Pls learn from the team owners from other sports. Take a back seat and let ur team play. U don’t have to jump up and down every match to show ur presence. Ur team will not miss u one bit.

  • SRK – Can u stop blowing kisses to the crowd and start acting for a change? Stop giving inane interviews on everything under the sun. U don’t need to have an opinion on everything in the world. It’s good that KKR have not won anything of note this year. We can’t stand the sight of ur cronies like Arjun Rampal celebrating with u.
  • Preity – Stop waving ur team flag!! Nobody recognizes it. For more, pls refer my comments on SRK.
  • Shilpa – Pls learn the rules of the game and wipe that grin of ur face!!!

3) DLF Maximums & Citi moments of success – The poor commentators have been instructed to use the DLF name on air, as much as possible. So every time a six is hit we are treated to several versions of DLF maximum. Some popular ones are “That didn’t register on the DLF scale”, “That had DLF written all over it!”, “That’s the first time he has been DLFed!”, “That’s a DLFer!” etc., Need I say anything more??? And don’t even get me started on “Citi moments of success”.

4) The Trophy – It’s a garish looking ugly trophy. So, please don’t show it over and over each match.

5) Strategy Break – This is a commercial innovation that is virtually killing the game. T20 is supposed to be fast and full of action. Modi’s innovation to make more bucks is totally killing all excitement that starts building in a game.

6) Commentators – It pains me to see the former greats of the game stoop to such levels to further the IPL’s greed. Please stop using these nonsensical adjectives over and over. We know players like Flintoff, Hayden etc., have big hands. Buckets if you will. We don’t need to be told some 10 times during a match. You also don’t need to keep saying that the stadium if full. We can see the empty spaces on TV!!!

7) Mandira Bedi & her Extra Innings crew – You guys are really boring!!! Pls watch John Dykes and his gang in ESPN Star’s Saturday EPL coverage and learn.

8) Sponsers – All sponsers get thanked every half an hour. The team jerseys are full of sponser tags of Companies I have never heard of!!

However, despite all these and many other drawbacks, I will continue to watch the IPL. The quality of the cricket is still very high. You can also get the joy of watching Shane Warne play again, cajoling the youngsters in his team to perform out of their skin.

So, Mr. Modi & Co, can you guys pls step back and let the game go on???

  1. Ravi says:

    Wondering about the DLF and CITI sponsorships .. on one side you have DLF making a strategic (or to be more true – a distress) sale of non core assets to keep afloat it’s real estate fundings.. and another side CITI just surviving the biggest bankruptcy in the history of modern banking… and these two giants funding a totally inconsequential Indian local league…. Really speaks volume about their corporate strategy… Guys there are better ways to lose money.. By the way CITI can get the fed funds but DLF – do not rely on our ministry to bail you out… 🙂

    • Aravind Krishnan says:

      Can’t miss the irony when the commentators mention “Citi moments of success” …

      Obama must be really pissed to see the US govt’s money go down the IPL drain…..

  2. Ravi says:

    Ha ha … Citi moment of success.. They badly need one…

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