Have you ever woken up really fresh one day, but had a really hard time remembering the previous night?? I had that feeling Sunday morning. I had got totally wasted on Saturday night. Apparently, Whiskey and Chinese food are a really bad combination. I threw up thrice, or I remember thrice, my friends insist that they counted many more. What’s more, I did some crazy stuff while I was drunk. I should definitely stay away from my phone when I am drunk!! Again, my friends tell me that I had several phone conversations and I don’t remember any of them, even a bit!!! I had to call a lot of people to apologize for my behavior.
Nothing new for me I guess. I never stop when I am on a roll, swigging drink after drink at breakneck speed. The alcohol slowly gets to my brain and I end up doing lots of crazy stuff. Things I would not even think about doing when I am sober.
Well, that’s the beauty of getting wasted. You have so much fun while at it. Your friends love it and encourage the madness. Plus it is super fun. It’s a stark contrast from the monotonous routine of normal life. For a few hours you are living a very different life. Everybody should get wasted at least once in their lives. I would definitely recommend it!!
But, everything has its downside. I often wake up the next day, usually with a bad hangover, regretting a few things I did while I was drunk the previous night. It has happened way too often for me. I just don’t seem to learn too. I keep repeating the same stupid things over and over. I often wish if I could go back and change whatever I did the previous night. But the thing is you just can’t do anything about it. I guess that’s the whole beauty of the situation.
A few things I had done when drunk have caused irreparable damage. I have offended some real close friends. I haven’t spoken to my ex since one drunken phone conversation a few months after I had broken up with her. I can’t blame her too. I have embarrassed myself and my friends on several occasions. I have probably been banned from a few places after my antics. I have often felt really ashamed of my behavior.
So what’s the solution for this problem? I certainly cannot give up drinking. I can’t pin my hopes on drinking responsibly too. What’s the fun in that? I can’t trust my friends to help me out. So, I have decided to list down a list of things which I should not do when I am drunk. This list might probably help me in the future if I am in a similar situation.
1) Never use your phone: You’ll wake up in the morning reading the bizarre texts you sent out and wish you could erase. And then there’s the phone conversations you remember enjoying but barely remember having.
2) Never start a conversation about your ex. Better still, never talk about anybody’s ex. I don’t need to elaborate more on this!! You know better.
3) Never come back home and attempt cooking!! The mess is too hard to clean up the next day.
4) Never try to write an important e-mail: It’s really important you don’t try to make any real communication with people while you’re drunk.
5) Don’t Sing!! You don’t have a really good voice. Why do you keep forgetting that when you are drunk??
6) Never pick up a fight. Things might get really ugly!!
7) Don’t eat too much. Throwing up in a public place or at somebody else’s house or party is not cool. Don’t throw up in the urinal. Don’t throw up in somebody else’s car. He is sure to kill you!! And never ever throw up at the hotel lobby right at the feet of the guard opening the door for you!!!
8) Never have long-island ice tea after a 3 hour drinking binge!! It’s like slowly bringing you to the edge of a cliff and pushing you over.
9) Never dance on tables. Actually never dance!!
10) Never watch a movie in a theatre after getting drunk. Especially when the movie is bad!! People don’t appreciate it when you voice your opinion aloud.
11) Never mix philosophy and alcohol. It’ll make your headache worse and make you depressed at the same time.
12) Never call your friend who you happen to have a secret crush on. You’re just making a big fool of yourself.
13) Never try hitting on your best friend’s sister or cousin at his own party. He will not like it one bit.
Wow, that’s quite a big list!! Now, all I need is to follow these simple rules and stay out of trouble. At least, I won’t repeat the same old mistakes. The only real problem is how am I going to remember these rules when I am piss drunk in the first place??
That’s where you guys come in. If any of you guys reading this blog come with me the next time I am wasted, please help me out!!!
The Iceman's Rants 